Fan Mail
Yes, it’s The Official weirdfortunecookies.com Letters Page!
The truth is I don’t answer fan mail publicly like this any more. Or at all, in most cases.
This is not to say I won’t answer any messages, but I don’t answer a lot of them.
I have found that doing so requires time and effort. Since I don’t much care for time and effort,
and it doesn’t seem to like me either, I don’t respond to many messages and I don’t feel too guilty about it.
Regardless, I’m keeping this page alive so I can use it as a tax shelter.
-~-
Your website caught my eye because I too have kept the odd fortune from a
cookie over the years. Unfortunately, the slips of paper got
discarded when we moved last year, but I do remember a couple of
favourites. Once I somehow ended up with two cookies at the end of a
Chinese meal. The first warned me: BEWARE! Lust burns like wildfire.
That was promising in itself and was promptly augmented by the second
message: You are apt to try something new.
-~-
Sometimes fortunes are simply ironic. At a table of eight people, my uncle
(who is over 80, has only one leg and is confined to a wheel chair)
picked the only cookie whose fortune read: You will have great sucess
in athletics.
-~-
GREAT site…. :-) —-couldn’t sleep, got online, and got sucked into your
site by accident. i totally enjoyed poking around…
-~-
I have collected a number of fortunes too. Probably my favorite is:
"Never wear new pants when you go to fight for freedom!"
-~-
"Accept the next proposition you hear" —
I opened this cookie the morning after a particularly ‘romantic’
evening in a fairly-new relationship. I had placed the fortune
cookies on the table to be opened after our meal, but we never made
it that far in the dinner before we were distracted by chemistry. :-)
- Lisa
Congratulations! You have just won the “Meet The Weird Fortune Cookies Collection Webmaster”
contest! Please send a copy of a photo ID (for verification of
identity). Then prepare yourself for a dazzling Chinese food dinner
with the webmaster himself! Please
bring sufficient cash and other needed supplies. Travel costs not
included. Meeting may be videotaped. Waiver form required.
-~-
Found your site by means of the settings on MyYahoo; the "Web Site
Tracker" set up for "Quotations". How’s that for a
roundabout way to connect?! Weird.
-~-
…the best part is, I got it the night before a planned major wardrobe overhaul…
-~-
I was just poking through your site, and decided to write about a fortune
cookie I recieved on spring break last year. We were in Rochester,
NY, on the way home, and were debating on whether to stay on the
highway, or cut south through NY and PA and catch a different highway
(damn those toll roads!). The debate ended when I opened my fortune
cookie and it said "Stay off the back roads." We got to
watch the snowstorm pass over us a few hours later, and when we got
back we learned that it had dumped about 5" of snow and ice in
western NY… I wish I hadn’t lost that little piece of paper,
otherwise I’d scan it and send it to you.
Jim
-~-
I’m pretty sure I know what the Dream Box fortune
refers to. It’s a small glass pyramid-shaped container with a
mirrored bottom. One of the side panels is hinged and can be opened.
You’re supposed to write a dream/wish/goal/whatever on a piece of
paper, put it in the box, and leave it there (until it comes true, I
guess). Most people probably just use them as decorative
paperweights, though, as they’re kinda pretty. They cost something
like ten bucks, but I have no idea where to buy one.
Andrew L.
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My two favorite fortunes were discovered years ago: The first read "The
blonde at the next table is eyeing you." The second read
"You will soon achieve perfection." Alas, the one about the
blonde was discarded. The one promising my perfection was dated and
remains taped to my desktop, where it continues to redefine "soon."
sign me gp
- Mansfield
The second one was probably ticked off at you for ignoring its sibling.
So I guess you can pretty much forget about perfection,
"gp".
For your carelessness, I have refused your request
and signed you with the name "Mansfield" instead. So there. Thththptpththth.
-~-
Here’s this: "Changes for the better are being made against you."
Charlie M.
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Your brother sent me a link to your web site and I just finished perusing it
again. I saw your hints for fan mail and decided to share my weirdly
accurate fortune. I can’t scan it for you ’cause I did have it tucked
in between the different plastics on my dash, until it disappeared
into the dash recently.
Here it is: Do not allow yourself to be distracted.
If it ever surfaces, I’ll send it to you (yes, I am one of those losers who
is doomed to be cursed with bad fortunes from now on….)
toodles,
alessa
-~-
With regard to your thoughts on "Lucky Numbers" – The lottery is
a special tax for those not good at math.
My most unusual fortune cookie to date: "You have excellent equipment for success"
It was indeed my good fortune to visit your site.
R & or T Wertz
Yes it was. But since you brought it up, I think that latter fortune was
supposed to come to me. Hate to be the bearer of bad news. Maybe your
parents can explain it to you when you’re older.
-~-
I have been meaning to email you forever, it seems. But better late than
never, I guess. Hope you’re doing well blah blah blah STV yadda yadda
yadda I’m fine yackitty yack. Anyway, I enjoyed your fortune cookie
site a lot and I wanted to share a fortune I received: "You will
always have as much as you have at present." Which, to my mind,
sounds like a poorly worded threat or gypsy curse. As soon as I get
it scanned in , I’ll email you the graphic so you can add it to your collection.
T. Mike
Forget it man, I don’t want that one anywhere near me. Get away!