It tastes sweet

It tastes sweet.

I’m sure it does.

Normally when people send me pictures I crop them so you see only the fortune. But the black fingernail polish adds a special touch that I just can’t pass up.

Kissing elephants

Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.

Tomorrow is another day. That’s all I’m saying.

I think somebody needs an elephant lips on the rocks.

Touch

You never know who you touch.

Sometimes that’s a good thing.

First and last love

Our first and last love is ... self love.

This is probably trying to say something deep and meaningful about the ego and the id, but here’s a tip for all you budding psychologists out there: Freud is best not accompanied by smiley faces.

Equipment

You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.

Not going to say a word.

What you left behind

What you left behind is more mellow than wine.

I don’t even want to know what this means. Seriously. Some cultures have after-dinner rituals that go way beyond those little wafer mints… if you know what I mean.