Look closely

Look closely at your surroundings.

The contributor of this fortune said it best:

“Maybe it was just me being paranoid, but I got little freaked out when I read this one.”

Apple of my eye

Alas! You are the apple of my eye.

Rather a left-handed compliment, wouldn’t you say?

Skill expressing yourself

You have much skill in expressing yourself to be effective.

You are great at telling people you are great.
Maybe you should run for congress.

You are what you think about

You are what you think about all day long.

In other words, there is no such thing as a man. All men are actually women. Or possibly food. Or footballs.

Fight to the finish

Eat your vegetable and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye.

I’ve yet to see spinach in Chinese food, but I suppose it could happen.

Cheaper than a therapist

To lower your stress level, get a cat.

Technically this violates site policy, since the fortune itself isn’t really weird. But it’s definitely not what I would expect to pull out of a fortune cookie.

I might add that it all depends on which cat.

Don’t believe me? You might be a cat lady.