Submitting Fortunes

I’m willing to collect more of these things. Should you come across any unusual fortunes yourself, during your travels across the vast and unpredictable world of Americanized Chinese cuisine, save me some work make the world a better place by adding them to this collection! In fact, the main source of new entries is readers who have no life send fortunes to me.

You don’t need to send me the actual fortune; digital photographs or scans are fine. Take a high-resolution picture with your shiny new digital camera, grab a quick snapshot with your cell phone, use your USB-powered vacuum cleaner to suck up the fortune, whatever it takes. Email me with the results.

Please note that I’m mostly just interested in weird ones, like errors in translation or total nonsense. Fortunes that are obviously intended to be jokes don’t usually count, though I have made some exceptions. If you send me a fortune you just happen to think is cute or poignant then I will probably go “awww” and then ignore it.

You're so ugly you have to trick or treat by phone.
This would be an example of a submission I CAN’T use. It is clearly
a novelty product, and this isn’t “noveltyfortunecookies.com”.